the mystery & the magic...

my old phone of many years died quite suddenly last year & i thought i had lost years worth of photos. i had not paid attention to the warning signs until everything went dark.

i have a new phone now & we do not get along, it seems to think it knows best & continuously changes things up on me when it comes to the camera, settings, warm tone, cold tone, screen brightness etc.

i find myself barking instructions at it every time i go in & reset.
"stay" i say & yet a few hours later it hasn't stayed put. i just do not care for its rebellious ways.
​
​fortunately for me, my Beloved was so weary of hearing my sorrows of lost memories, he found a way to resurrect my old phone.

as long as it is kept plugged into the life support cord i am able to peruse my little photo album of 13 thousand plus images to my hearts content, of which i note, most are of my critters, present & past.

​​it has been over a year since my little doglet upgraded to wings & i still catch a moment each day when she comes into my heart's mind. perhaps when i am leaving the temple & reflect i no longer have to be back by a certain time or i catch a glance of her leash, still by the back door & especially when we spend quality time together up on the land where she rests with Tofu {the guinea pig}.
​two thirds of the critter gang at rest now.

i admit my first waking thought is no longer my doglet & i have the freedom to have a morning practice of meditation/contemplation/prayer starting the moment i rise. i can spend hours in my studio without requirements needed from me & best of all, she has the freedom to sparkle in the night sky free from a little worn out body & brain so i can report, we are both happily doing quite well a year on in our separate but connected existence.

how odd it is, that i started out thinking i would just lightly touch upon my phone & photos & it has turned out i am no longer lightly but quite heavily staying with it & the connection to my constant canine companion of 15 years.  

incase this comes across as a little sad or melancholy that is not my intention. i spend a lot of time contemplating & i now see connections that run/ran so deep, threads intwined so tightly, that on reflection, i cannot help but marvel upon the mystery of it all & the magic. 

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meggan watterson

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FOOTNOTE:
i wrote the above yesterday & scheduled it to post today. {a gift to my future self}.
upon returning to it this morning for one more look over i wonder if the many layers i feel when writing are not possible to put into words contained within a post & therefore it may not read in a sensical form to another.

i feel a sense of vulnerability each time i write in this space, shining a little flashlight on my sacred creative contemplative existence has me at times feeling a bit like i went out to the grocery store but forgot to put my clothes on sort of thing.

perhaps in time that will soften, perhaps not, all i know is the little light inside of me is being asked to send a beam up & out into the dark sky at this time & it has been impossible to say no to Her request.

so for now my practice here is continuing to be comfortable with the uncomfortable until one fine day down the pilgrim path i will be chanting & dancing {without a care}, naked as the day i was born. oh & maybe having swapped out my little flashlight for one of those huge beaming things that light up the night sky.